“We spend a lot of time teaching leaders what to do. We don’t spend nearly enough time teaching them what to stop.” - Peter Drucker
Habits are our default settings. There are healthy habits and unhealthy habits. Since they are imbedded in our subconscious, we don’t realize which ones are defining our behaviors. There are numerous examples where successful women practice and exhibit healthy habits and have therefore seen personal and professional growth. But did you know that the unhealthy ones can actually block your success?
It’s human nature to experience self-limiting behaviors. Over the course of our working and personal lives we’ve all had both positive and negative experiences from the past that shape our responses. The key is to recognize the ones that mold us for the better and the ones that hinder our growth. The good news is we can rewire our brains with a little bit of effort to create new templates and replace detrimental behaviors.
Here are some habits that could be working against you and tips on rewiring your brain.
You’re hesitant to take credit for accomplishments.
Women have a tendency to shy away from attention seeking behaviors when it comes to their work and accomplishments because we believe it smacks of showing off or being self delusional. However in today’s competitive environment, drawing attention to your accomplishments is becoming an expected behavior but women are still reluctant to step out of the shadows.
Create your Personal brand.
Personal branding is your trademark. It creates visibility around your accomplishments and unique skill set. Establishing your brand determines the narrative of how people perceive you and the value you offer. You don’t want other people writing your story. Think about the strengths and special skills you’ve built over your career. Sharpen them and share your knowledge. Develop your own distinctive operating style that sets you apart and creates interest from others.
2) You assume that your work is enough and you’ll be rewarded.
Not dissimilar from claiming credit when credit is due, calling attention to yourself is part of your job. Getting more intentional and comfortable talking about your skills and experience is essential for career development and financial rewards. If you want to earn the salary you deserve, you have to speak up.
Embrace the art of self promotion.
Think of self promotion as credibility building and not ego building. Focusing on your work, and how it can help your key stakeholders makes this different from “it’s all about me.” The more focus you have on your audience and their challenges, the less discomfort you’ll have advocating for yourself. You want to spend 20% of the time talking, and 80% of the time listening to your audience. Read their subtle cues and the dynamics of the situation in order to plan your approach and determine how long to engage. Learning an art takes time, so start early in your career and make self promotion a part of your daily routine.
3) You’re cultivating but not capitalizing your influential contacts.
You’ve spent a lot of time building important contacts but are you maximizing the value they could bring? Women develop relationships on an emotional basis which plays to our strength of giving support and being loyal and empathetic. Forging relationships for our personal gain counters our fundamental belief system. In order to feel comfortable capitalizing on our connections, approach it from a standpoint of mutual benefit for both individuals. Many successful careers and businesses have been built on this very premise and it’s become a standard way of operating. In order for women to build a wider sphere of influence, we must revisit how we approach relationships.
Look at your relationships with a win-win perspective.
There is nothing negative about “Help me, and I will help you.” Reciprocity means leveraging a relationship to be more strategic and intentional. Think more about “who” and the immediate and or future benefit of that individual in achieving your goals. It’s specific with the results being tangible and quantifiable. Start with the end in mind. Remember you bring as much value to the relationship as the other person does and that gives you equal power and influence. You can’t argue with that!
4) You’re too much of a perfectionist.
Perfectionism is our achilles heel. It’s a detrimental state of mind that is pervasive in women and can be our downfall when it comes to self development and building a more lucrative career. Perfectionism is rooted in the fear of not being perfect and or not making mistakes. For many women, failing is believing you’re not measuring up and it feels worse because we’ve established an unattainable level of perfection for ourselves. We default to an ‘all or nothing’ mindset and it slows down our personal and professional growth.
Learn to let go and take more risks.
Learning to let go is achieved by taking more risk and accepting the notion of failure as a part of how success is defined. It’s become the new normal. What did we learn and what could we do to improve? Being open to failure increases our risk appetite. One way to become less risk averse is to assess how well you delegate. Perfectionists are notorious for being lousy delegators; the more control we have, the less risk and therefore less failures. Establishing clear milestones and outcomes makes it easier to anticipate potential issues. Playing to people’s strengths increases the probability of succeeding with quality deliverables. Target excellence not perfectionism. Excellence is sustainable, perfectionism is not.
Rewiring our brains and our habits takes self-examination, patience, and being deliberate with foresight. Change doesn’t happen overnight. Tackle one or two habits at a time until they become your default behaviors. While you’re rewiring, avoid the pitfall of being overly critical of yourself. Relish and recognize the gifts that you bring to the table.